Yes. In my head, that's to the tune of Gangnam Style. And there is a more than good probability that before the night is out I'll be galloping around my now-furnitureless apartment shouting that and failing at the Gangnam Style dance. No, I will not be streaming it, because don't nobody need to see that crap. There's a reason my drapes are some of the last things to be packed.
You would think a woman who's been a guild bank manager for five or seven years would be amazing at keeping her stuff organized, and optimizing her space to move. She'd have boxes of the right size combinations to maximize her stuff/container ratio, and be able to shove everything she needs into her car or moving van efficiently. If RL came equipped with slots, and my dining room table took up the same amount of car space as my socks, I'd totally be set. As it is...
I have a diagram. I don't have this diagram right now, because I'm at work and it's taped to my fridge and scribbled on the back of a Totino's frozen pizza box in sharpie, but I've got one! It details where in my car everything is going. It reminds me of a really really bad game of Tetris, which was analyzed after the fact by the guys from Monday Night Football to show just where the player went wrong. Seriously, I've got squiggles and lines and arrows all over the damn place, and I know it's not going to go as planned because half my stuff is shoved into garbage bags at this point and they keep changing shape. Screw paying nine bucks a tote for boxes. I'm a hobo and I'm proud of it!
Suffice it to say, I'm a lucky person, because my sister has offered to be my bank mule until I get settled in. Since things like my baker's rack, TV stand, desk, and so on won't fit into my Vibe (don't look at me like that), she's letting me pack some minor things into her basement. Now if only getting things off the bank mule were as simple as clicking the "return to sender" button on the mailbox. Mah well. I wouldn't need to worry about a mule at all, but buying extra vault tabs IRL is freaking EXPENSIVE. I am not impressed.
So anyway. Roxi Style involves multi-colored post-it notes to denote whether a room is full, empty, or sorted. Cabinets and closets also use this system. Each room is assigned a certain number of boxes, which are labeled "Roxi - Store - Room" or "Roxi - Use - Room" (obviously, room gets replaced with the actual room it's from). I have a master inventory of what's in each box, or at least had one until the cat kidnapped it and buried it in her litter box. Now the only manifest I have is the one in my brain, and it's bugging the CRAP out of me. RL needs a searchable inventory. Anyway. Things that are getting stored, or which could easily be damaged go into plastic totes. Stuff I plan on using a lot, like clothes, go into collapsible cloth storage bags. (I finally found a use for all the crap my sister got me from Thirty-One.) Electronics are bundled together with their peripherals and cords, and placed into collapsible cloth storage cubes. Cardboard is reserved for big things that are pretty much just easier to carry that way, like the slow cooker and coffee machine. At least...that's the plan.
Every time you fill a box, you take a shot. Every time you find something the cat stole and hid, take two shots. When you have to repack a box because stuff doesn't fit, two shots. One shot every time you move something out of your Goodwill pile and into a box, and two when you put it either back in the donation pile or in the trash. Three shots every time you take a trashbag full of stuff down to the dumpster only to realize it was your pillows or towels and have to fish it out. While filling out the car, one shot for every other box loaded, and three if you manage to get it in without having to re-shuffle things so you can use your rear-view mirror.
The last thing packed and loaded should be the cat, sedated and in her carrier. Finish the bottle(s) if what actually goes into the car last is your laptop bag or tablet, because you were too busy doing scratchy cards on the Rift mobile app.
Oh. Then sleep it off on your living room floor, huddling in your For The Horde hoodie like the hobo that you are.
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