Roxi's Raid Night Checklist

Every Wednesday night* I get my ass off the couch and, for about two and a half hours, act like the dedicated and responsible guild officer I tell myself I am.  At the end of the expansion, raid night ranks about up there with going to the gynocologist or sitting through a staff meeting: you've gotta go, but you really don't want to, and the enjoyment factor just isn't there.  You've been doing the content for weeks or months, you're to the point that people are just gearing their alts, and you find yourself mumbling along with the dialogue between pulls while you're in the bathroom taking a ninja AFK three rooms away.

Now, I have an attention span problem.  This may come as a shock to you, dear reader, but I have this tendency to completely lose the plot the minute something shiny pops up in my field of vision.  It helps when I have to pick up unexpected adds or get out of fire.  Doesn't help so much on turn and burn fights where I've got to stare at stacks of a debuff on my offtank and wait to snap aggro back.  I tend to zone out.  Needless to say, I've come up with a sort of checklist for things that I need to have at my desk or readily available by raid time to make sure I don't spaz out, wander away from the computer, fall asleep, or tab out and start watching porno.

• Beer - Yes, this is item one.  If beer is not available, rum may be substituted with restraint.
• TV or Radio -  Background noise to drown out things like police sirens, car accidents, people screaming, and my cat whining about wanting petted mid-pull
• Comics - Usually on my tablet, for skimming during dialogue, between pulls, during raid strats, and if by some miracle I'm not the last back from an AFK break
• Snacks - Finger food that doesn't make a mess of my keyboard, usually plain tortilla chips, pretzels, rice crisps, or popcorn
• Water bottle - Alternate between beer and water to stretch the bottle out and avoid drunken Spine pulls.  Your mileage may vary.  I am Irish-American and can drink like a fish before I realize that it's alcohol and not water that I'm chugging.
• Catnip - You know that thing with a circle of salt around you to protect you from ghosts and witches and shit?  Draw a circle of catnip around your desk to keep your cat from bugging you during the raid.
• Sparkly cat toys - Piled near your mouse, for an easy quick throw if the catnip circle fails for some reason
• More beer - For when the wipes start.  If drinking rum, more rum, and well-practiced Captain Jack Sparrow voice for "why's the rum gone?"
• Mouse, headset, and other actually important things - Not that I would ever raid with vent muted, using my touchpad and keyboard for movement.  Nope!  Not me!  Neeeever....  >.>

There you have it!  All you need for a perfectly dysfunctional, Roxilicious raid night.

Now get going!  And don't stand in the shit this time!

*Some exclusions and exceptions apply.  Raids may be called for any or all of the following reasons: too much beer, not enough beer, short squad, PMS, raid leader on the rag, drunk main tank, drunk main healer, emergency booty call, fried chicken, work, acute case of the fuckits.