It's patch day, and we've got just under an hour until the North American World of Warcraft servers come back up. This is where most bloggers would write about the exciting changes coming with the patch, everything you need to know to transition seamlessly into the post-stat-squish world, and the major changes to the flavors of the month.
I'm not most bloggers. Because there are patch notes, and you should read the fucking patch notes. If you gave a flying rat's ass, you'd have already read several VERSIONS of the patch notes as 6.0.2 went through its time on the PTR. It's not my fucking fault if you waited until the last minute to do your homework. I carried your kind through high school, and I'm sure as shit not going to do it in MMORPGs.
Today is patch day, and my personal deadline for deciding what I'm going to play in Draenor. I know I'd previously stated (like, about a week ago) that I was switching to a resto shammy, and I spent like two or three weeks going on and on about the damn shaman and leveling her on my stream. That was all more or less the direct result of guild drama, and my desire to say FUCK YOU to my guild leader's girlfriend.
And that's no longer an issue in my life. Remember the last post? About Trojan Horses? Yeah... I built one all well and good, and my GM went full retard and opened the thing before I was ready. The short version of the long and glorious implosion is that our main tank (and a friend of mine and Cookie's) started asking questions about what we would actually be DOING before the expansion hits. And Cookie helped, because when someone else is stirring the pot, she'll gladly turn up the heat. The GM gets all butthurt and defensive right out of the gate, and starts flipping out. Guildkicks our tank. I look at Cookie and tell her I'm done, pull all of my alts, and then pull my main from the guild. She starts doing the same...
And then the GM's girlfriend gets involved. And I have to remind Cookie that I can't afford to bail her ass out of jail if she kills the bitch. See, the GM's girlfriend is CRAZY, but she knows us IRL and likes to pretend she's superior to me because I'm medicated and she's not. And Cookie almost throttled the kid the last time she started hurling insults behind my back about my treatment, so...
Yeah. Anyway, that guild is no more. Cookie, our friends, and I packed up and moved over to a stagnant level 25 guild one of them had. It will be renamed Tactical Dysfunction, and it will be GLORIOUS.
As soon as I have ten bucks with which to rename the guild.
So anyway, now I have the option to switch back to my monk if I want, be our second tank, and recruit two healers and some DPS for our Core Raid Team. I"ve been playing my monk the last couple days, nominally farming, and I fucking love it. Love it in the face. So... yeah. There's a very good chance I'm going to do that.
And that's my Patch Day! Seriously, go read the fucking patch notes. And stay away from crazy Guild Masters and their girlfriends. And use protection. <3
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