Patch 6.0.2 was pretty much the MMORPG equivalent of my last heterosexual encounter. I wanted to like it. A lot. I was all excited, and I thought it would be this great, game-changing thing... And then I spent the night yelling "Oh come on" and "just fix it already." When I woke up this morning, much like that long-ago morning, all I felt was bitterness, disappointment, and anger at my wasted time. This patch was a complete goddamn letdown, and if it's any indication of what I can expect from Warlords, it may yet make a confirmed Riftsexual out of me. Or send me crawling back to Everquest. Who knows?
Seriously though. Blizz pushed this patch back by months, put it through extensive testing on the PTR and beta servers, and... We get a patch with a completely broken LFG UI, crashing raid zones, derptastical lag spikes, and mobs that are alternately too friggin' easy or too friggin' hard. I brought this up to my guild last night, and they kept making excuses and trying to shush me.
Oh, a patch is a really complicated piece of coding.
Oh, this is the biggest mechanics patch WoW's ever had.
Oh, you're just overreacting.
No. I am not motherfucking overreacting, and if I didn't have two X chromosomes and a higher pitched voice, you wouldn't be reacting this way to me. You'd just agree with me and let it fucking drop. But no. You're a goddamn misogynist and you just allow me to exist because you think I'm a fucking unicorn outlier who's actually good at what she does. (They don't want me to tank either, even though I'm fucking good at THAT. Fuckers.)
Yesterday, after I patched, the LFG interface was completely fucking broken. Blizz has been touting this repackaging of OpenQueue as its big innovation, and on day one we get something that's barely useable. Groups don't pop, instances crash, the interface hallucinates and tells you you're queued for too much stuff even when you're not fucking queued for ANYTHING...
And to top it off, when they squished the stats of everything in the game, some monsters ended up too high on the difficulty curve, and some much too low. I can roflstomp stuff on Isle of Giants now, but trying to kill the yanguol on Timeless Isle leaves me having to actually use cooldowns. Don't get it.
They upped the difficulty of some fights in Seige LFR, and I don't remember seeing that listed ANYWHERE in the patchnotes. Doing Sha last night in wing 1 resulted in THREE FUCKING WIPES because people actually had to do flex-style mechanics. Fortunately, I was tanking with a guildie, so we were able to coordinate swaps and stuff on vent. I don't want to know what LFR Garrosh looks like right now, I really don't.
The shiny new pre-expansion questline is completely fucking pasted on. Battlefield Barrens, before SoO's release, set the fucking bar for events as far as I'm concerned. There was a bunch of stuff to do, there were meaningful rewards, and it kept me engaged and invested for more than fifteen minutes. Iron Horde Invasion? ONE quest chain, with a pet (admittedly a cool battlepet) as the reward. No title. No taking the fight to them. Just "Oh hey, these guys are coming through the Dark Portal, go kill them." Why can we not try to fight them on the other side of the Dark Portal? Hellfire Peninsula's gotta be FULL of the fuckers. They should have some higher-ranking commanders over there. And what about defectors? Give us some new characters to get to know.
But no. One quest chain. Sub-par rewards. A half-open level 90 version of the revamp dungeon with 550 rewards that...suck. Seriously, these pieces just exist for ilvl padding, at this point.
Yeah. UBRS. Let's talk about that.
All through beta and ptr testing of this shit, I've been hearing that the instances were difficult, they were engaging... and then Blizz pulls out the last minute nerfbat and makes the content laughable. EVERY. SINGLE. FIGHT. in the level 90 version is a turn and burn fight. The first boss has the absolute MOST by way of mechanics, because there are things you have to click. Oh holy shit. It's a turn and burn with a twist of lime. GG, Blizz. The zone uses some bastardized version of Flex loot, where you just get what you get, and it's not even spec-specific. I am set to mistweaver loot because it's the only spec I don't have geared over 555, and I get shitty agi gloves constantly. Yay. And with the instance being set to flex loot instead of drop and roll, it turns what could be a really easy pick up and drag zone to gear new 90s into a fucking boring ass grind.
GG Blizz.
This patch left me with a MAJOR bad taste in my mouth, and I'm really hoping that the Molten Core update for the 10th anniversary event shines, because if not I'll have pretty much completely abandoned all hope of a good expansion. And it's a shame, because I was finally starting to buy into the hype.
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