Roxi's 10min Disc Priest Cookbook

Because there aren't enough guides on the internet, and I'm sure by now I've established myself as That Chick You Really Shouldn't Listen To...  I give you Roxi's Ten Minute Disc Priest Cookbook: Pandalicious Edition.  (Actually, I'm stuck at work and bored out of my gourd, but don't have enough time to figure out something more useful.  Bwahaha.)

• Step One: Buy one of those really big bottles of  Malibu coconut rum, and a case of diet cherry Dr.Pepper.  You may also need a giant-sized novelty coffee mug, preferably one that says "Rogues do it from behind" or "Alchemist's Flask" or something.  Anything but a mug with kittens on it, really.  You're learning to play the Roxi way.  Embrace it.
• Step Two: Log into World of Warcraft and roll a priest!  Before Mists of Pandaria, you were required to do a careful survey of boobies and booties to figure out what suited your tastes now, but the expansion streamlined things a lot.  Roll a female Pandaren priest, and name her something Roxilicious. Just don't use Roxina, because that's MINE dammit.  Some of my favorite Roxi variants have been Roxtoberfest, Roxiloxi, and Chatterbrox.  (The last one was a stretch, but I literally just used her to harass people in general channels.)  
• Step Three: Fill your mug!  I recommend mixing at 2:1 soda:rum or 1:1, but your mileage may vary.  DO NOT USE ICE.  Ice dilutes the drink and is for pussies.  If you can't drink it before it gets warm, DRINK FASTER.  Got a problem with that?  Roll resto shammy and spam chain heal.  GG.
• Step Four:  Level!  1-15 is for getting drunk.  15-85 is for being drunk and pugging as a healer.  Or DPS.  You're running up as Disc after all, so you're going to be able to pace shadow priests at least into your seventies, these days.  "But Roooxiiii!" you whine.  "How do I spec?"  Hold on a moment.
• 4A - Smack yourself.  Disc talents aren't hard these days.  The game basically does all the work for you.  All you have to do is pick some flavor abilities and your glyphs.  Levelling, you'll want reflective shield, smite, and either holy fire or holy nova.  Capped out, you'll want smite, penance, and power word:shield.  Minors are garbage.  As long as you have the levitate glyph, you can put shadow glyphs in the rest and no one will care.  Seriously.  I think I have shadow ravens and the alternate shadow form on my disc spec.  Our minors are THAT bad.  As far as talents go...  The ones that really matter are Mindthingy that improves your shadowfiend, Power Infusion, and your level 90.  The others are all really about which oshit buttons favor you best, or how little you PvP.  I grabbed tentacles, feathers, and the omgwtf bubble that has saved my ass a lot.  YMMV.  (And yes, my level 90 is Cascade.  No, I don't like it.  Yes, I'm too lazy to spec out of it for Halo.)
• Step Five: Download add-ons!  This is actually kind of meant to be done at the beginning, but...yeah.  Healing without addons is a pain in the ass.  I run with a pretty minimalist addon set- Quartz castbar, Xperl unit frames, Bartender, Decursive, Tidy Plates/Threat Plates, and Auctionator.  I have function keys, and I use them.  Click-to-heal on things like Grid and Healbot make people lazy.  
• Step Six: Refill your mug.  If it's not empty yet...you are doing it wrong.
• Step Seven: Pick up tradeskills!  For the love of god don't do Alchemy.  I am an alchemist/herbalist. It is bad.  Blizz has given us no reason to be on main characters.  In MoP, go Herbalism/Inscriptions.  The haste buff from lifewhateverthefuck can be alternated with power infusion so that every time you drop a squiddy (shadowfiend) he's getting more attacks in and you're getting more mana back.  Inscriptions gets you a really nice staff or offhand, shoulder enchants, and darkmoon cards.  This early in the expansion, crafting epics are actually worth having, so...yeah.  
• Step Eight: Pick up a second spec!  Because...you know...  It's not like dual spec is 1k any more.  You may as well.  Go holy if you really feel the need to be a pansy prissypants vagina-spawner, and shadow if you like mudkips.  Not that shadow ravens actually look like mudkips, but they SHOULD look like mudkips, and i herd u liek them.  Yeah... moving on.
• Step Nine: Read someone else's guide to figure out how to actually play your class.  In general, pw:s and prayer of mending on incoming, both on CD after that.  Penance as much damage as you can.  When you're not needing to direct heal, holy fire, smite smite smite smite smite, HOLY FIRE, smite smite smite.  I usually hit power infusion/shadow fiend when I hit 80% mana, and keep him on cooldown after that.  For 90% of everything outside of raids, atonement will carry your ass through everything.  If you're taking groupwide damage, prayer of healing.  If you have big incoming damage, hit spirit shell, then prayer of healing, then stack some shields on your tank.  If you're getting bored and just want to nuke, spirit shell, hit the tank with penance and then a greater heal, then smite your li'l arse off.  The CD on spirit shell is short enough that i'm pretty liberal with it.
• Step Ten: Stop in the middle of a pull and ask your group why the rum is gone.  Wipe.  Be told you're a terrible person.  Blame it on me.  Profit!