Once upon a time I was one of those gamers that spends just about as much time on the forums as she does ingame. As in, I was playing ten hour shifts, then logging off or tabbing out and reading the forums for another two to four hours a night. Oh, and I was reading them for at least an hour or two in the morning. People knew my handle, my smartass sigs, my guild recruiting spam... It was awesome. I was like a celebrity or something in a community of maybe 10k people. It was Champions Online, and at this point it's like saying I was one of the cool kids on the shortbus. ANYWAY. The point is I used to be a big forum reader, pts-denizen, and keeper of spreadsheets.
Then I came back to WoW, and everything was already done by people who have dedicated eight years to being professional WoW players, and I got a massive case of the fuckits. The only threads I really post on unless I'm specifically seeking help any more are the @Day threads on the Warrior forums, the Tank Lounge, and (when I'm feeling brave) the Priest social threads. Why? Because I can't be assed. Literally. You come near me with the WoW forum donkey and I'll just beat it with a shock stick until the ASPCA comes along and takes it away. That is how strong my aversion to the forums has become. Or the force of my lazy. Take your pick, because either works.
It came as a shock to me that WoW 5.0.4, which has been on PTS for a while now I think and prepatched like a month ago, was bringing the Pandaria class changes. You know, the big, game-changing things that are making people go AMG DOOM about their classes. The things that made me quit WoW before Wrath of the Lich King came out because my ex didn't like what they were doing to combat rogues and I was tired of fighting with him about exactly how little the changes actually meant, and how there were two other specs, and wasn't he always complaining that he wanted to run subtlety anyway? I mean, it's not like we were raiding or anything back then, so he could have played a freaking 21/10/10 spec or something and nobody would have cared. -.- Tangent!
So now I'm looking at my class being completely redesigned JUST after I've finally stopped sucking at it. (For those of you who haven't heard, I used to be a disc priest atonemen/lolsmiter and mainchanged to my warrior, who runs prot and arms like... six weeks ago? Eight? Pretty much right after she dinged 85.) A smart woman would have been at least keeping the changes in mind, holding onto things in case they became useful because of shifting stat weights and priorities, or open gem sockets, or... Yeah no. My bank has a bunch of transmog shit in it, and all the junk I've accumulated while leveling archaeology. My brain is about the same right now. That is to say: I know rage is getting changed, but don't know how; I know tanks are going to need some amount of hit or something; and I know mastery's being...fucked with. Somehow. But I don't know how.
I'm like, a primary tank. Depending on which way the wind is blowing and whether or not his girlfriend used fabric softener when she washed his boxers, I trade off main tanking with Zartash the fatbear Reckless Embrace's fearless leader, who is also occasionally Hexxie the shaman (and who used to be a rogue, and was a paladin before that, and a warlock before that, and...there may have been a hunter in there somewhere? I don't know. I need a score card for these things.). Point is, my raid kind of depends on me to know my shit and be able to not completely screw up Zon'ozz because I'm turning him too early because I'm half-drunk and trying to overcompensate for the fact that I might possibly be getting drunk, or...whatever was going on this week.
Know what? Enough preamble. I went to the WoW forums, and all I found was bitching, and it made me sad. Seriously! I know they're not exactly known for the quality of the information to be found within their vast halls, but you'd think with a major patch on the way SOMEONE would be talking about the changes. Only...not so much. Warrior forums? Are all about how much we suck in PvP. And occasional recipes for tasty goodies, beer, and how to name/transmog your warrior. So I picked up my toys and went over to the tank forums (after chiming in about how stupid I thought someone's name was, and why), where I saw some pertinent thread titles. Sadly, I have not yet gotten to read said threads, because real life is hard and I want a pony.
BUT! Blizz has delivered! Today, I go to claim my totally cute Li'l XT consolation prize for paying Blizz three bucks a month for something that should have been free all along (mobile AH/guild chat) and I see that they've got a 5.0.4 Survival Guide up! Let's give the devs a round of applause for keeping the lazy strong! So I read it over, and I go "Meh. Meh. Fuck druids. Meh. Oo! Someone left a piece of candy on the- ew, never mind, it's cinnamon. Meh. WARRIORS! Here we go!" And... Blizz tells me exactly what I already knew, MINUS the fact that tanks actually need to care about hitting things.
When Tuesday rolls around and the patch hits, I'm going to be streaming the hilarity of me running dungeons and LFR trying to wrap my head around whatever fresh hell Ghostcrawler's come up with for me. My rage is going to be generated when I use certain attacks, like building runic power. Okay? This means I need hit, because if one of those misses, I'm screwed for rage. Gotcha. And I can use anything from any stance. WOOT! No more stance dancing for arms. Maybe now I'll stop sucking! Of course, now I'll have to change my hotbars completely, since I've got it all carefully mapped out and macro'd to work with my extreme windowlicking playstyle.
We're also getting the new talent system on Tuesday, so I'm going to have to decide between Shockwave and Bladestorm. Shockwave... And BLADESTORM. But of course... I can only shout during Bladestorm, so what if I need to taunt something, or use a defensive cooldown or- screw it. I'm motherfuckin' bladestorming with a motherfuckin' shield. This also means the new glyph system, which means herbers, get your gloves on. Expect a HIGH demand for inscriptionist-made stuff, between the new glyphs and the Tome of Clear Mind that lets you switch talents out on the fly. Harvest all tiers, and plan for a 25-50% markup on Cata herbs, and as much as a 100-200% markup on non-Cata herbs. Those numbers are pulled out of my ass, but that's what I'm planning on doing.
5.0.4 is also bringing some little things, like account-wide mounts and achievements, a unified cooking currency (because they couldn't have done that back when I had like 80 tokens on my priest and dumped them all into meats and cocoa beans to sell? I want my chef hat!), aoe looting, and the valor -> justice conversion.
Oh. And mana is getting capped. Grats on your herps, casters.
And I almost forgot. The ranged slot is going away. No more melee, hunters, sorry. At least the damned minimum range is finally getting axed. Now you really can be all Legolas and just point blank eyeshoot someone in the face. I just hope they refund me my valor or something for the two ranged pieces I'll suddenly have no use for. Or make them vendor for a stupid amount. Even though, you know, I'll probably just DE them because I'm a whore like that.
If you don't like my rundown, do your own cramming or read Blizz's page. I'm at the shore this weekend, but I'm going to try to compile Roxi's 5.0.4 Cheat Sheet For Shieldy Hurty Things when I get back Sunday night.
I've got some cool plans for the stream after Tuesday, including Pre-Pandaria Window Licking for Prot Warriors, my vainglorious attempt at getting my DK 85 before the expansion hits (including tradeskills, so bring a pillow and some coffee), and 50 Shades of Training Dummy: Arms Warrior edition.
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